Ode to a Coffee Monkey,

Every morning, providing we are at home, a monkey makes the coffee for us. He’s a real good guy and though I don’t normally associate with primates, he’s always there and always dependable.

Curious, George?

Well, to be honest, he’s not a REAL monkey. Not the leaping about, screeching at passers by and flinging double handfuls of poo, kind anyway. If he were, he would be far less welcome in the kitchen. And I’d seriously consider taking the knives off the magnet bar and hiding them.

No, this monkey is only a finger puppet. Actually, it’s only a monkey head, which sounds far more grotesque than it actually looks. He’s a little brown, smiley monkey who we picked up somewhere along the line some years ago. It must have been an impulse buy in some long forgotten kitsch shop in the dusty past. Otherwise, I can’t for the life of me figure out why we would have gotten it. It predates both of our kids and since neither I nor Action Girl are the finger puppet type, I can offer no better explanation.

So, what does one do with a disembodied, monkey head, puppet? Hmmm. Well, at some point I made the discovery that he fits PERFECTLY over the knob on the percolator. Our percolator is not one of those wonderful old ones with the glass “crystal” at the top. You remember the one form the Maxwell house ad, all those years ago?

“Blip-el-blip-el Blip Blip!” Yah, we don’t have one of those. Ours sports a black plastic knob rather than that great coffee viewing dome. Booooooring. However, our monkey sits on the knob and greets us every morning as I pour my badly needed morning coffee. We now simply refer to the percolator as “the monkey”.

To the out side world, it sounds like this…

“Did you clean the monkey?” or…
“Is the monkey ready for tomorrow?” or…
“Did you remember to unplug the monkey?” or a personal favorite…
“I think the monkey’s empty.”

THAT brings up the image of fist-fulls of poo!

So, that’s our Coffee Monkey. We love him and would never consider not replacing him on his perch once the perc has been washed and reloaded. My feelings are, if a fat man in a red and white suit can bring me presents and a rabbit can bring me chocolate, then I see no problem with a monkey making my coffee every morning.

*sip* Ahhhh. That’s some good monkey juice.

4 Responses

  1. I have tried and tried, but I can’t seem to teach Capt’ Danger to make coffee.

    Great post

  2. Thanks PF,

    I actually wanted to snag the URL “coffeemonkey.com” but was bummed to find out that it was already taken. Now that would have made a great email address!

  3. sigh…missing my own monkey. Namely, the impossible to find Italian instant espresso powder sold at Hannigans…effin hate Erie…

  4. Oh yah… I remember that! What was it called? It must be available on line somewhere?

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