Fleeing the Madness

Well, this is the Thursday before it all begins. The hoards are at the gate and will be parking on the azaleas by this time tomorrow. Good thing I don’t have any azaleas! Stupid hoards!

Memorial day weekend is upon us and what that means on the coast of Maine is that all the summer folk will be here to open the shutters of their vacation homes, sweep out a winter’s worth of dust and spend the evenings shivering on their porches, pretending that the warm weather is here. It’s not, but hey… “A” for effort!

We live in a fairly picturesque little place. We’re near a good sized city but still have the rural feel of old time, small neighborhoods. The road in front of my house is dirt, but in twenty minutes, and with out a car, you are in the middle of a kitsch filled shopping Mecca. Where else are you going to be able to buy your lobster hat? “No where”, if you’re fortunate.

This time of the year is always a bitter sweet affair for us. On the one hand, seeing the closed houses open up again and the lawns fill with badminton nets and squealing kids is pretty great. The entire place comes alive and is used to its fullest. On the other hand, this is our home. We live here not only in the fun, warm, green season, but through the dark, snowy, freezing winter as well. We get used to having the run of the place. Short cuts made running through empty yards is lost once the families return from their southern habitations. We know the place better then them! It’s ours! Or… not.

The harsh reality is that the summer folks probably know my area better than I do. They come for the summer and spend their days climbing over every last rock, searching every bit of beach and relaxing on various porches enjoying the long summer nights. We work. Though I’m here all the time, I rarely get to take in the pleasures of my surroundings. That’s not a complaint! It’s just life. When I have a good weekend, I work on my house. When we have vacation time, we go away… Like this weekend, for instance.

By this time on Saturday, the little market where we buy our necessities will be awash in lost looking visitors “from away” trying to find the gin and shampoo. If you can hear over the shouts of “Honey? Did you find the toilet paper? What? They only have THAT kind?!”, you might be able to catch the sound of an audible eye roll from those of us who call this place home.

But hey, let’s not get to high and might here. It’s a beautiful place, where we live. It would be stingy to try and keep it all to our selves and to be honest, it’s kind of fun to watch so much life get injected into our otherwise sleepy little corner of the coast. I’d be lying if I said that we didn’t like the money they bring, either. SO, I’ll keep a smile on, help folks with directions and explain many, many, MANY times how to get around here. Well… I figure I can hold the smile until at least until the end of August. Then all bets are off.

But… in the mean time, I’m locking the door, stuffing the family into the Subaru wagon and we are skipping out on the start of the madness that will descend. Hopefully we’ll be long gone before the masses show up and start double-parking their gigantor-mobiles on the main drag and and complaining about the smell of the seaweed rotting on the beaches (“Ew! Don’t they clean that up?”). We’ll go and visit my folks in New Hampshire and let Short Stack go run around in the same yard that I pounded down, all those years ago. I think it will be a fun time.

I sure hope the store there carries the type of toilet paper I like. I hate that other stuff.

“Honey? did you pack the rum? WHAT?! Well I hope they have it here.”

10 Responses

  1. It’s the first time I’ve visited your blog: it’s been too long. I always figured you were an Istanbul exchange student in Texas or something! go figure 🙂

    Have a great time in New Hampshire.

  2. Bwhahaha! I sew confusion and consternation where ever I may go!

    It’s like a superpower… but with out the cape!

  3. Can’t blame you for trying to avoid the hoards of sweaty public invading your beautiful neighbourhood. Have a good Memorial Day holiday!

  4. I’d cut off a toe to have to suffer the hoards! I miss my hoards!! Especially that freak-job couple who followed me home off the boat when I bought my lawn mower and I had to push it back to the house. No hoards in Erie. Erie sucks. Hate Erie. Miss home!


  5. COME FREAKIN’ BACK ALREADY!!! We miss ya’ here!

    Action Girl and I have fresh limes, a new bottle of Cruzan Black Strap, a beach to sit on and extra glasses! Anytime!

  6. I bought key limes from T-Joes for B&S’s and, seriously, you have to try them, they make a world of difference.

  7. I saw your comments on the Barefoot Bum’s site and followed you back here. Absolutely fantastic blog. I will be up late one night this weekend reading through your archives for sure. Very enjoyable.

    The photo you posted reminds me of Wiscasset, Maine. My wife and I drove Route 1 from Freeport to Bar Harbor a few years ago. One of the best trips I’ve ever been on. I used to say I would never leave Kentucky, but after that trip I had to modify it by saying, “IF I ever have to leave Kentucky, I’m going to Maine.” If we could just get a decent lobster roll here I would be thrilled.

  8. Glad you followed the bread crumbs! Welcome!

    I’ve never been to Kentucky, but it’s on the list of places to go. I have a friend who has some family there and we might have to make it a trip some time.

    I really like Wiscasset as well. I was there a few weeks ago and stopped at the turn off where the ships used to be. Did you see them? They were a couple of old wooden coal schooners that were abandoned at the dock and rotted away. They’re gone now but made quite a tourist spot. I ought to write an entry on them some time.

    Anyway, thanks for posting Progressive Conservative, and if you find your self up this way, I’ll point you to the lobster rolls and stand back.


    Turkish Prawn

  9. I don’t recall any old ships there other than the lobster boats. We stopped at the pier there for lunch and that was my first o-fficial lobster roll. I literally watched a fisherman hop off his boat, carry a bucket over to the little shack we were dining at and sell the lady a few lobsters that went pretty much straight into the pot.

    We also spoke to a nice little lady who was inquiring about the Massachussets tags on our rental car. She seemed very pleased that we weren’t actually from MA. She said she was tired of them coming up, buying homes and putting ‘PRIVATE DRIVE’ signs everywhere.

    If you ever make it down this way, I HIGHLY recommend the Frazier Museum (formerly the Frazier Historical Arms Museum). For a gun enthusiast it is a must-see. They have a fantastic collection of firearms from all over the world as well as the only collection from the Royal Armouries outside of Britain.

  10. A friend and I visited Maine over Memorial Day weekend ohhh, maybe 20 years ago. The following year we went to Virginia Beach. Maine was beautiful, but too cold. After a long winter in NY we wanted warm sand.

    My most recent trip to Maine was Bangor, Memorial Day weekend to drive my mom and her friend to a wedding. Scout, i think, was almost five, so it was a while ago.

    When I was a pre-teen I remember a trip to Ellsworth that was the definition of Murphy’s Law.

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