Standing on Tradition

There is no point in me denying that I’m a hopeless romantic. Freely, I will admit to having a rose tinted view of things that I have done or seen in the past. Hind sight might be 20/20, but perception can be heavily altered when viewed through the filter of nostalgia. The bad times fall away and only the interesting and fun tend to float to the surface; especially if that reflected time is of the simplicity of youth, now being viewed from under the worries of adulthood, covering us like a heavy bearskin on a hot summer day.

Such are my memories of primary school. I was fortunate enough to spend the first seven years of my scholastic life at Saint Joseph’s, a fairly small, private, Catholic school in south western New Hampshire. The building its self matched pretty closely to what most of you are thinking when I say “Catholic School”. Built of red brick with concrete, decorative touches, the structure was two stories tall and monolithic in appearance. Inside, the rooms had impossibly high ceilings with plasterwork that rounded flawlessly down to the vertical and became walls, creating a beautiful vaulted feel. The windows were of the type that were so common in the schools of old. Huge expanses of glass made up of dozens of individual, leaky panes with an opening portion at the bottom. These are never seen in public buildings anymore, all having long since been bricked up or covered over with depressing slabs of plywood in an effort to reduce heating bills with the added effect of sentencing the occupants to life under blinking florescent tubes.

The steps leading up to the massive, oak double doors are huge slabs of granite and though the thousands upon thousands of small feet from generations past barely shows, the black internal stairs are deeply rutted on either side, looking for all the world like they have been shaped by two endless waterfalls, now run dry. I can clearly recall walking them and wondering how many others had climbed them. Even as a little kid with the requisite lack of enthusiasm for all things scholastic, I had a very special fondness for this place. There was a lot to feel good about when it came to my attendance. My Mom had gone here as did all her sisters. Not only that, but this was my Grandfather’s school as well. The impossibly old and venerable man who I revered as the head of the extended family had been just another small boy here, walking these exact stairs just like I did. It was a fantastic thought.

There were no uniforms to wear, but dress code was closely adhered to. No jeans, no sneakers, No shorts and undershirts were just that; to be worn under a shirt. Decorated t-shirts were not acceptable attire. For what it was, the code was quite lax, really. Ties were not required for the boys and skirts, though often worn by the girls, were not mandated over slacks. Every kid simply had two drawers in their room: school clothes and play clothes and never the twain did meet. We thought nothing of it and to my knowledge, no one ever chafed under the rule.

The first floor contained the smaller grades, going from kindergarten up to second. Even with the expansive rooms and unreachable ceilings, it was a friendly place and made you feel safe. Every morning after attendance we would pile out into the hall way and sit down on the floor, one small butt per linoleum square, and the teachers would start the daily program. This was usually made up of announcements for upcoming special events, kids birthdays, or simply talking about the changing seasons. It was always concluded with songs and heartfelt prayer. That was my morning routine. Quite a nice way to start the day, if you ask me.

Upstairs, were the higher grades. Third and fourth, a small but well run library, the music room and the principal’s office took up the space. I believe that the administration for the entire school was simply the principal and his secretary. As I recall, the secretary also doubled as the receptionist and school announcer. No councilors, no vice principals, no department of redundancy department. It was all overseen by one principal, the school secretary and the teachers. I might also add that it ran very, very smoothly.

The central hallway off the second floor let to the “big kids” wing. There were swinging, double doors to this hallway and they were always closed. We feared it. They might as well have scrawled, “Here be giants!” over the doors. Little kids had no reason to be there and we craned our necks in tense curiosity to get a peek through the glass when walking single file, to the library. When they opened with a groan, we jumped and moved faster.

The day I was finally old enough to walk through those squeaking gates was memorable. It was a very literal right of passage. Nothing remarkable was down there of course. Just fifth and sixth grades, but it had grown huge in our imaginations over the last five years. Below these class rooms on the first floor was our double duty gym/auditorium where I had the chance to humiliate my self both on the basket ball court and the stage. It was a place for equal opportunity childhood embarrassment. Ah, the memories.

The last important part of this place was the church. Across a shared parking lot is the cornerstone Catholic church for the city. Every Wednesday, we would line up and head over for an hour or so for a private… well, I was going to say lesson, but it was somewhere between a lesson and a mass. What ever it was, it meant that I didn’t have to go to spend my precious Sunday afternoons in a classroom, and for that, I shall always be thankful.

With one exception (there’s always one, isn’t there), I had wonderful teachers there and over all, received a really top notch education at St. Joe’s. The school was never wealthy and I vividly remember cracks in the plasterwork and a finicky boiler that sometimes didn’t heat the place as it should have, but I never minded that. The tuition was not expensive but it was there and need to be paid. It was a sacrifice which all of our classmate’s parents made and I think it made us better students in the process.

There were no school vouchers, there was no support from the government and I firmly believe that it made the place better. They were beholden to no one except their beliefs and the parent’s of the students. If a student was a bad behavior, they were gone, and gone permanently. I wonder what ever happened to Shawn “The Toy Smasher”? He was history by second grade. Elitist? No, I don’t think so. It was a place of rules though, and if a kid couldn’t follow them, well… That was your problem, not theirs.

A lot of things have changed as time has marched along. First, there was my own personal break from The Church. A decision that was not made lightly. I harbor the institution no ill will but it no longer fits my world view. I do, however, miss the place it occupied in my life, though. I’ve also moved away. This is something that really eats at me sometimes because I would like nothing more then to see my own children get dressed up and head off to this wonderful place. They would be the fourth generation to do so in my family and the missed opportunity leaves me sad sometimes.

The last change is a happy one though. Not only is Saint Joseph’s School still there, but it had expanded to seventh and eighth grade as well. I have no idea where they have made the rooms, but it pleases me to know that it’s healthy and vibrant. On an impromptu visit I made a year or so ago, I noted that much is the same and much has been improved. The peeling paint and cracked plaster has been repaired beautifully and the stage where I had stood in school productions long past has seen a complete refurbishing. The massive and leaky windows were replaced with equally massive, brand new expanses of glass and steel, changing the look not one bit.

I will be sure to bring the kids there someday, just to show them where Great Grandpa, Grandma, and their Dad spent so much time in their youth. I doubt very seriously that they will ever have the chance to attend school there but hey, you can’t have everything.

Every tradition meets its end sometime and from that end, new ones begin.

6 Responses

  1. A great tribute.

    Here all schools get government support, as Icelanders really don’t believe that your education should depend on if you have money or not. There are private schools, but they basically get their teachers paid by the state/municipial, so any fees go to running the building and such. I have never wanted to put my kids to a private school, as they aren’t better than the public ones at all, anyway, around here.

    But of course, not every system’s like ours. Can’t expect things to be the same everywhere. (nor that our’s the best, not at all).

    Agree with you on the church thing, except probably that I don’t miss it at all, (well, actually I work in the church quite a bit, even though I’m not religious at all, sing in funerals and weddings and masses). My husband, being a vicar’s son, says he’s sat through ceremonies to last him a lifetime, always had to go to his father’s Masses. Ugh!

    Same as you, it took an effort to actually sign out of the National Church – and out of Christianity altogether. Glad to have done it, though.

    To schools again, I and eldest daughter visited an English boarding school, 5 years ago, photos here. Amazing place, we went there for a music course for a week. Would never ever send my children to boarding school, at 7, though…

    I don’t think I could ever send my young child to boarding school either. This was a day school, only but the sense of tradition was strong, none the less. As far as private versus public schools go, the private ones have one major benefit over the public and that is student selection. If a kid is a real problem or a bad actor, they get expelled. This doesn’t happen in the public schools. It sounds harsh, but what you end up with is a bunch of kids who are there to learn and pay attention, and thus, get a better education. It’s not that the academics are any better, but that the teacher get to actually teach rather than police.

    As far as the religion goes, it just doesn’t fit with my world view now. No formal break was made by me, just a drifting away and working out things for my self.


  2. Nice memory of childhood.

    Thanks! I like to dwell on the nice ones. Hey, If you’re gonna dwell, it might as well be positive!

  3. I think that some of the institutions we pass through are a bit like our parents. We learn from them and they help form us and eventually we move out on our own.

    Unless one has been abused (on whatever level), I don’t think there is a need for ill will, it’s just a part of growing up.

    Sounds like they gave a good start in life.

    Hey Razz,
    I really like that observation about institutions and parents. Very nicely put.
    For me, there was no abuse from church, but there was an awakening on my part. I just started thinking about the stuff that was coming out of my mouth during mass and thought, “I don’t know if I believe this.” I’ve spent a lot of time on my own journey now and I’m happier for it. I do rather miss being part of something bigger sometimes, but never enough to want to go back.

  4. Well Mr. No Government intervention, you managed again to slip a not so innocent little comment in the middle of all the “romanticism”, but I’ve learned my lesson with the gun comment and I’m not even going there, my friend!

    So we are not even getting the dirt on the bad apple teacher?
    If someone made your life miserable, you should be able to talk freely about the experience. I believe in catharsis for your own good and my thirst for gossip.

    One thing I don’t believe in is God. I’m an atheist, as is my whole family. They still made me go to catechism which I remember VERY fondly because of the Panettone. The teacher gave class at her house after school and as a good Italian woman, would give us that awesomely fabulously good bread. Once the teacher changed and we no longer had our weekly panettone, I quit religion and never looked back. I buy my own.

    If I had a child, I would be facing tough choices. My kid would not set foot in a public school in Dallas but 95% of the private schools have a religious connotation and have no social or racial mix. Tough choice.

    It’s nice to remember only the good stuff. – makes for heart-felt posts. Wonderful as usual (despite THE comment which we cannot discuss because it’s just not that sort of blog.)

    Ok, little miss pushy lady,

    Mrs. Souxie.

    Really, really not a nice experience for me. She used to say uplifting things to me like, “You’re never going to make it in the world.” or “You’re not very smart, are you?”. Lovely lady. Naturally, I felt so ashamed that I never told my parents until about a year later. I thought my father was going to find her and kill her. It took two more years, counseling and finally a sixth grade teacher who both scared the hell out of me but was simultaneously very, very supportive and good for me. Thank you Miss Aubin! You undid a lot of damage from third grade and for that, I’ll always be grateful.

    As far as religion goes, I’m definitely not an atheist though I’m also not into anything organized. Personally, I can’t join any group who thinks they alone have the low down on who the Man in the Sky is. I like to say that I’m not religious but spiritual. I’ve been to services in cathedrals, synagogues, mosques and other temples all over the world and so far as I have experienced, they spirit is the same regardless of the place. It’s people trying to get closer to the one (or many) who they believe created them and providing that those beliefs aren’t funneled into a rationale to hurt other people, then I think it’s a laudable goal. That’s just not how my journey is taking place. I’m more into bushwacking and making my own way rather than going into the right building at the right time. To steal a line from a movie I saw some time ago, “God makes me nervous when you get him inside”. I’ll look elsewhere.

    That satisfy your gossip craving? 😉

  5. Thank you very much. Your evil teacher sounds like all the teachers I’ve had. The school I attended believed in pushing you down to raise you up. Works with some kids I guess.

    I remember Monsieur Grandval, a French teacher I had (and the first person at school to sport a Mickey Mouse watch) arrive in class, take our essays from his briefcase and throw them at us while screaming: “voila vos pipis. Vous etes tous des plats de nouilles froides sur l’etagere!” which pretty much translates as: “Here is your pee. You are all platefuls of cold noodles left on a shelf.” I really liked Monsieur Grandval.

    I’m definitely an atheist but I’m VERY respectful of other people’s belief. I even dumped a guy because he showed complete disrespect in a Buddhist temple. Asshole.

    I’m very much into bush-whacking too. 😉
    note: I’m just training to emulate planetross.

  6. heh, the private schools around here tend to be the ones that the problem kids are sent to, at least the ones that the deluded parents think: Oh, my genious child’s SO misunderstood in the public system 😀

    My kids have had their share of problem children in school – well, the girls, anyway, my youngest’s been lucky, as of yet. Sort of teaches them about life, though, we run into idiots every day, don’t we? (well, wouldn’t have minded one boy being expelled from my eldest’s class).

    Still, she flew into the most sought-after junior college (starting this fall) and managed to be in the top 5% in the countrys coordinated exams last spring. Don’t think she’s taken harm…

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